What Can ENFP Guy Tell INFJ Girl - Short Prayer

Dear INFJ-Girl,

I'm writing this because it's been months and my heart has never

healed from you leaving. I wish I understood your reasons, I wish I

knew what made you get up and remove yourself from our lives together

completely. You shut the door and left without giving me as much as a

reason, a clue as to what you thought I did, what I was doing wrong.

Why I wasn't enough.

You broke my heart.

I was always faithful and honest to you. I was the one who always told

you to always tell the truth. Always speak the truth even if your

voice shakes. I believed in you, I understood you and I loved you -

more than you could for yourself. I saw your complexity and I knew how

deep your mind went when it wandered.

I loved you with more than just my heart. You were my soul. You were

my life, my love, my plan, my everything. Our life was a new adventure

every day and I honestly truly thought we were happy and had it all.

We were going to save the world together. You and me.

I was going to ask you to marry me. I wanted you to be the mother of

my children because I thought you were so strong. The perfect partner.

My soulmate. My friend and partner for life.

…but you left me. You never saw the pain in my heart that it caused.

My smile was not a sign of happiness, my smile was a symbol of courage

when everything collapsed.

I never hid anything from you except my plan for our lives together.

It was a beautiful plan.

My soul is losing love like a heart loses blood after getting cut open.

I need to find peace.

I was going to propose to you this last weekend. What would have been

the anniversary of us meeting. A celebration of us and everything we

had been through together.

It reminded me of how I waited for you on Valentine's day. I

remembered how I felt when I threw the flowers away that you never

picked up, weeks later. How empty our bed felt. How empty I felt.

For months after you left, I would have gladly opened my arms to you

to have you back. And you knew it.

It killed me to know you moved on so quickly, to find a new guy, a

replacement. It's been months and I can't even maintain a conversation

with a new girl. I don't want to. They aren't't you.

But betrayal is something I might be able to forgive but I can not

endure the humiliation it brings.

I don't blame you. I blame myself for allowing my heart to love

someone so fully.

I'm writing this letter for closure. I need to let this go. Even if

you yourself never read this I need to heal and I can only do that by

this attempted atonement.

Maybe I should have held on tighter? Maybe there was nothing I could

have done to make you stay? Maybe I was too much? Maybe I wasn't

enlightened? Maybe there was always someone else? Maybe you always

knew I wasn't right? Maybe I was right and you were scared?

I truly wish I knew why I came home one day and you weren't there anymore…